Lumpini Monkey House

Some of y’all may have been wondering where I’ve been...

Well, I had to do a little time at the Lumpini Monkey House (a.k.a. Lumpini Jail) and, well, I’ve found that jails that don’t have air conditioning generally don’t have very good internet connections.

Right, so what happened? Well, you think that these Thai girls are all very laid-back and even-keeled but apparently they have a limit.

I was minding my own business at home with a Thai girl when my Thai girlfriend came home. Hmm. My threesome idea didn’t go over very well. My girlfriend hit her limit and when Thai chicas hit their limit they really snap!

Next thing I know I’m running down Sukhumvit, buck naked, with my girlfriend chasing after me with a knife. Thankfully the cops showed up. Or I thought so. But, apparently tie does not go to the runner. In fact, tie goes to the crazy knife wielding girlfriend in Thailand.

Next stop Lumpini Monkey House.

Lucky for me I shared a cell with a rather attractive female named Pookie. She seemed to understand me in ways no other woman had ever understood me. Needless to say, in such close quarters and with such a sexy woman, nature took its course. I have to say that Pookie was a bit of a freak and always preferred unconventional positions. She was also very shy and would never let me see her private parts. But after lights out she was a little tiger. Grrrrr.

So now I'm out and feeling like the only hell my momma ever raised.