London, England

Recently I was over there in London, England. If you’re from The South, you always have to add the “England” part even though everybody knows where London is. Sort of like people from The North always say Dallas, Texas. “Today, in Dallas Texas, President Kennedy blah blah blah…”

Now used to, if I was in London, England and mentioned that I was from Texas, people’s eyes would light up and they would get sort of excited. That would be my cue to start talking about guns, gun laws, gun racks, gun shows… any story with a gun in it would fascinate them.

My favorite little Texas gun trivia came from my Daddy. In Texas, anyone can get a license to carry a gun by taking a firearms class. If you pass the class you can carry a gun but it HAS to be concealed. I guess they’re trying to keep people from walking around with holsters and six shooters like they’re John Wayne or something. So my Daddy got his “license to kill” and now he can carry a gun anywhere he wants, except TWO places…

1. A bar. You can’t carry a gun into a bar. You gotta take it outside if you want to pop a cap in someone.

2. A sporting event. You can imagine what would happen if some team connected with a long pass against the Cowboys if half the people in the crowd had guns and had been drinking stadium beer all day.

So that was the old days in London, England. Now if I mention that I’m from Texas, I get an earful of “Why I hate George Bush.” I tell you what, they HATE Dubya over there. Like football rivalry hate. Like A&M vs Texas hate.

What’s funny is that when Dubya was first elected they hated him because they thought he was an idiot. I’ve tried to explain to Brits that sometimes we Americans like to have someone running the country that you would invite over to your BBQ. Someone that you would trust to cook the burgers.

Now they think Dubya is this religious mastermind who fooled them into thinking he was an idiot. Actually, I think Ann Richards said something to that effect after Dubya won the race for Texas Governor.

So now if I’m over there in London, England and someone asks me where I’m from, I tell em I’m from Louisiana and I’ve got the necked pictures of my sister to prove it.